Half-Offed
"Half-Offed", Way to Die #745, is the first death to be featured in "Death Be a Lady Tonight", which aired on July 25, 2011. Plot Ted was a middle-aged, well-dressed, arrogant, executive who was a big shot blowhard. On this day, he is filled with impatience and anxiety, because he was late for the airport since his employee forgot to make a wake-up call for him at the hotel. His impatience grew when he had to wait in line for a taxi, while furiously berating his incompetent employee. Minutes later, Ted steals a cab from a woman in front of him. The bellhop notices this and orders the rude man to let the woman take the cab, but Ted, being the entitled man that he is, claims that the ride is rightfully his. While Ted is arguing with the bellhop and pleading his case, he fails to notice a utility truck passing by with a tow line swinging loose. Even when the bellhop told Ted to have a little respect, Ted, confident that his valiant acts of arrogance paid off, closes the trunk smugly. The hook got caught in the cab's trunk as Ted closed it, and the steel cable pins a surprised Ted to the cab. The businessman frantically struggles to get free, but to no avail. The cable tightens around a bewildered and frightened Ted, and slices clean through his portly body. The witnesses are shocked, but some are satisfied as this strong, brash, inconsiderate oaf is cut into two. "Looks like Ted's gotten himself into a little squeeze..." Interviewees *Marc Fogel - NYC Taxi Driver *Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan - Physical Medicine & Rehab Alternative Description * "A businessman tries to steal someone else’s cab when he gets hit by a truck carrying a spool of wire which gets caught between the taxi and truck aluminum siding and his body is sliced in two." (Spike TV website) Trivia *Also called "Taxi Scab" on the Spike TV website. Foreign names *'Abierto En Medio' (Open in half) - Latin American dub. *'Demediado' (Halved) - Spanish dub. Category:Deaths that end with doggerels Category:Way to die Category:Death by injury Category:Season 5 deaths Category:Death by dismemberment Category:Death by karma Category:Body Cut-off Category:Body Damage Category:Death as consequences Category:Death as punishment Category:Original Episodes Category:Expelled Body Category:Anger Deaths Category:Bullies' deaths Category:Disobedient deaths Category:People Screaming while Dying Category:Dying with the eyes open Category:Bastards Category:Death by bisection Category:Impatient deaths Category:Jerk deaths Category:Rude humans Category:Jealousy deaths Category:Witnesses after death Category:Bad people Category:Mean people Category:Rude people Category:Death by slicing Category:Sliced in half Category:Victims screaming while dying Category:Screaming people while dying Category:Screaming victims while dying Category:People with gruesome deaths Category:Victims with gruesome deaths Category:Death by chopping Category:Body chopped off Category:Chopped in half Category:Death by jealousy Category:Envious death Category:Reckless deaths Category:Idiots Category:Idiot Deaths Category:Death by stupidity Category:Death from blood loss Category:Bleeds to death Category:Death by bleeding Category:Bleeding to death Category:Accidental death Category:Irresponsible humans Category:Death by squeezing Category:Squeezed to death Category:Split in half Category:Male victims Category:Dweebs Category:Death by murder Category:Death from murder Category:People relived after Victim dies Category:Body sliced off Category:Murdered victims Category:Death by vehicles Category:Complete Monster Category:Separated bodies Category:Death for being rude Category:Guilty People Category:Loser Deaths Category:Death for being mean Category:Death Similarities Category:Villain deaths Category:People relieved after the victims died Category:Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan Category:Cut in half Category:Very Scary Deaths